ricky gervais twitter
A Weirdo Trolled Ricky Gervais But Truly Missed the Point | Netflix Is A JokeThere was a big news st
Updated on Jan 21,2023
A Weirdo Trolled Ricky Gervais But Truly Missed the Point | Netflix Is A Joke
There was a big news story last year,,right, it was about a terrible train crash.,Now the train crash had happened about a year before,,and there was a big inquiry.,And the results of the inquiry were published this day,,and so there was an expert on the news.,And he was saying, "Well we've looked at everything,,and we've decided that the speed of the trains,on this particular line were a contributing factor,to the accident, so we're going to slow them down a little bit.,And statistically speaking, this shouldn't ever happen again.",That should have been the end of it.,But the guy went, "Well we went out and asked the general public,what they thought.",So then there was three banal vox pops.,The first one said, "Well I already pay £960 a year,,so I'm not happy.",The next one said, "Well it takes me 45 minutes each way,,so it's not good enough.",And the last one said,,"Well I always say it's better to arrive at work late than dead.",Why is that on the news?,And when is that applicable in any situation?,All right, Ted? You're in early.,Ted?,Oh, no Ted!,We've been through this.,Remember I said I'd rather you arrive late than dead?,But... the big enemy,is stupidity... right?,I wanna share with you the most stupid tweet I ever got, I think.,Now, admittedly, when I first got on Twitter,,I pushed my agenda a little bit. I was an outspoken atheist.,Not ‘cause I thought I’d change anyone's opinions.,I thought it was important to tell the other side. You know?,There are still 13 countries where people,are put to death just for being an atheist.,People bullied. And I just wanted to say, "It's fine to be an atheist.,It's fine to believe in God, and it's fine not to.",That's all I was saying, really.,And then I realized I didn't even have to tweet,about religion or atheism.,I could just tweet a fact,,and that annoyed just the right people. Right?,I'd tweet things like "Happy birthday, Earth.,Four point six billion years old today.",And someone would always go,,"Aw, we know what you're fucking doing. We know what you’re doing.”,So, this is a tweet I got from someone after one of those, I assume.,And... it was all in capitals,,which excited me...,That's the sign of Twitter madness.,Mixed with anger. It's great, right?,And I looked at his profile.,And sure enough, he's a gentleman from Texas.,He's a fundamentalist, creationist Christian.,Which is fine!,He loves God. He loves God and...,fetuses, mainly.,He loves the fetus from conception,to when it turns out gay, and then he's...,Right, so remember it's all in capitals. He's shouting at me.,Best tweet ever.,"YOUR SCIENCE--",My science, right?,Science, by the way, is spelled S-C-I-E-N-T-S.,Already good, isn't it? I mean...,He's obviously heard the word, he took a guess...,Never seen it written down, because it's not in the Bible. So he's...,"YOUR SCIENTS WON'T HELP YOU...,Well, it will.,It's helping him...,beam this little message up to a satellite and down to me.,"YOUR SCIENTS WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN...",Of course he believes in Satan. Why wouldn’t he?,He believes that God made the universe in six days.,You're not gonna say to him, "Do you believe in Satan?",And he’s gonna say, "Bit far-fetched.",Why doesn't God kill Satan?,That's... what I'd ask him.,If I was wrong and I met God,,And I'd go, "Oh, you do exist.",He'd go, "Yeah.",I'd go, "Well in which case, I've got a few fucking questions, mate.,In fact, the first one would be,,"Why did you make chocolate kill dogs? Whats-",Mental, right?,Also, if you hate homosexuality so much,,why did you put the male G-spot up the arse?,What...,What is wrong with you?,Then I'd say,,"Why don't you kill Satan?",And he'd go, "What?",I'd go, "Why don't you kill Satan?,If he does all the bad stuff,and you do all the good stuff, yeah, and you want good stuff, yes?,I mean, you do want--","Yes, yeah.","And you could kill him, couldn’t you?,If you wanted? Yes, ’cause you can do anything, easy.","Yeah.","Why don't you kill him, then?","Because...,Shut up.","YOUR SCIENTS WON'T HELP YOU,WHEN SATAN IS RAPING YOUR BRITISH ASS.",And he's got a point.,Because if I die,,and I find myself in Hell,,being raped by Satan...,Science has pretty much let me down.,But it's this last line that he just throws away.,The line that he signs off with,,makes this the best tweet I've ever received.,"YOUR SCIENTS WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN IS RAPING YOUR BRITISH ASS.,I'LL BE LAUGHING.",So... he's there too! He's...,So, he's a fundamentalist... Christian,,who's lived his life by the Old and New Testaments.,He dies, he wakes up in Hell, right?,Which must be off the charts,on the scale of emotional trauma...,"Oh, my God, I'm in Hell!,Oh, my God, why have you forsaken me?,I mean Hell is the worst because it’s for eternity!,I'm gonna be tortured for eternity!",He sees me getting raped and goes, "Ha, ha, ha!",Well he's suddenly over it, is he?,His day's suddenly got a little bit brighter. Right?,And like he's not next, right?,So I'm getting raped, right, by the Devil, right?
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